Kramer Strong

It has been a grueling week.  Last Friday night, from 5:00 pm until after midnight, friends and family came to visit Melody.  Melody was asleep the entire time but we all said good-bye with selfish hopes that she would stay with us a little longer.  Saturday, March 23, 2013 at 12:30 in the morning Melody breathed her last.  The last visitor was still in the driveway heading out, I was next door grabbing a quick bite to eat, dad was in the basement fanning the fire, and Kerry was at his mom’s side.  He was saying his good-bye to his mom when she “said” her good-bye.  It has been said that Melody just did not want to leave the party and I believe that, but I also believe she was waiting to say goodbye to her son.  The next day was a blur.  Funeral arrangements, what to do?  What would Melody want?  This is not something I care to do anytime soon.  Sunday and Monday came and went.  Tuesday was the start of goodbye.  Many of my dad and Melody's friends and family came for the visitation Tuesday.  It was a sad and emotional day.  My parents and youngest brother, Caleb, came to support me from Minnesota.  My friends Ellen, Rana, and Crystal drove from Kansas and Amber flew with Aiden.  They came with the strength from my church to be with me.  It meant a lot to me to have family and friends come from so far to be with me during that impossible time.  It meant a lot to my Ohio family too that people would come from so far for such a short time.  They knew it was just to support me.  One realizes how much family and friends mean to them during difficult times.  I do not know what I would have done had they not been there.  Wednesday was the funeral.  It was a time of stories and memories being told.  I was to go last.  My time came to get up.  I was emotional and wanted to collect myself before I stood up to talk in front of everyone.  My Aunt Becky got up and came to where I was sitting.  She said she would go up with me.  She gave me the courage to get up and she helped me tell my story and memories of Melody.   She was there for me during one of the hardest times of my life.  I will never forget that.  She put her own feelings aside to be there for me.  Thursday, I decided that I would stay in Ohio for a couple more days.  My grandma was going to have a PET scan Friday to see if her cancer had spread to more places than just her left upper arm, which snapped Monday the 18^th.  My dad and I began a remodel on his house.  He and Melody were going to remodel their bedroom and tear down a couple walls but this project was put on hold because Melody was sick.  It all started when dad and I began by cleaning out Melody’s closet, which was not a fun project.  Tearing down the walls, well that was somewhat therapeutic.  Smashing a hammer into a wall and kicking down sheetrock… Friday came around.  I was riding with my Uncle Tom and we decided that this week, since last Friday, was the absolute longest week ever.  We were driving to meet my Aunt and Grandma for lunch.  When we were in the waiting room where we would meet Becky text me.  The text said, “looks like grandma may be admitted into the hospital.  Her doctor thinks the cancer has metastasized in several places. We are waiting on a radiologist confirmation and we may be looking at hospice.  The doctor does not think it will be long on hospice.”  What?!  This is what I was expecting to hear, but was hoping I would not be hearing.  The cancer was supposed to have only spread to the left arm.  I was going to go home in peace.  No, of course not why would it work like that?  You see in my family, it appears that when it rains, it pours.  I called human resources at work.  The FMLA paperwork that I had sent for my grandma was denied because grandparents are not covered in family medical leave.  I was devastated.  I text my cousin, Jenny, that I was not covered.  I sat down in the hallway in the hospital and cried, completely overwhelmed.  I thought I had had all I could handle BEFORE this.  Jenny called me.  She helped me collect myself and I was able to continue on.  Grandma is back at my aunt and uncles house.  Hospice has come to see her for their initial visit and we are waiting to see if grandma wants to stop dialysis or not.  If she does, the toxins in her body will build up and she will go into a sleep coma and go quietly and pain free.  If she continues dialysis she will continue living.  Either way with the cancer in so many places her bones are liable to break at any moment and she will just continue to be in excruciating pain with broken bones that will not heal.  It is her choice.  I was talking to Becky today, she encouraged me to be strong, “Kramer Strong”.  She said she told Melody back in December that when one becomes a Kramer or if they have the Kramer blood in them they are Kramer Strong.  If Melody can be Kramer Strong so can I.