A Reason

Do you ever walk though life not really being there?  Like life is this made up game that people live and you are one of the pawns in the Theater of Life?  Going though the motions of life and having no real feeling.  That's what it seems like for me right now.  Whether I'm working or sitting at home I wonder, "Is this what life really is?"  Oh, I guess I do have feelings.  Feelings of frustration with my phone company because my phone does not work or feelings of being overwhelmed at work because it feels like I chased my tail all day.  I have those feeling. I was thinking tonight that maybe I just thought being an adult would be different.  I guess I had thoughts that adults are these grown up people who have it all together.  Maybe everyone is like me in thinking life would "feel" different than it really is.   Right now, I am going though the motions of life and wonder when it will have meaning again.  This song was playing in my car tonight on my way home from work it's called "reason to sing" by All Sons and Daughters.  This is what gives me  a reason to live and sing.  it may not feel like it at the moment, but I know I have a Reason to Sing.  "When the pieces start to shatter, to gather on the floor. And all that seems to matter is that I don't feel You anymore. no, I don't feel you anymore.  I need a reason to sing.  I need to know that You're still holding the whole  world in Your hands. i need a reason, when I'm overcome with fear and hate everything I know. If this waiting lasts forever, I fear I might let go.  will there be victory, will You sing it over me now. Your peace is the melody, won't  You sing it over me now.  I need a reason to sing, to know that You're still holding the whole world in Your hands.  That is a reason to sing."  Maybe this song does not make sense, but I know that I will begin to feel once again and life will not be this dragging on of eternity.  Because my Maker holds the whole world in His hands.  That is a reason to sing and I will continue to work on that realization until it becomes a reality full of feeling and life.